Wednesday, March 2, 2011

My name is Elmo, you can tickle me anytime.

I'm anxious. And it's not because of these midterms (although I will be exponentially happier when I am done and have a week off from school).  We're having a "my tie" next Thursday. And no, that's not a misspelling of this delicious drink:

For those of you who don't know what a "my tie" is, fear not! I will inform you. Here's how it works:
Step 1: You figure out who you would like to take on the date night (Or, if it's easier you can make a list).
Step 2: You recruit one of your sisters/friends/random acquaintances you met on the street (Hey, it's your life) to ask this guy to go with you, while also commandeering his tie.
Step 2b: Have one of your sisters/friends/acquaintances ask another guy, if option #1 can't go.
Step 3: You go to the location of the date night, looking super cute and wearing his tie.
Step 4: You are united with your date!

                I love bow ties. They are super fratty. :)

It's great, because you automatically have a date AND don't have to deal with asking someone for yourself. Yay! And it's kind of fun to ask guys to go with your friends. Except when they work at Jittery Joes and you have no idea who they are. 

Story time: A few days ago froomie MM asks me to ask her friend (we'll call him Sam) to our "my tie".  I had already asked a guy for another one of my sisters, so I was pumped. I felt like a modern-day Yentl ("Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match...."). I get to his place of employment, completely ready to ask him and get my caffeine fix at the same time, when lo and behold a girl takes my order instead. Normally, I'd be fine with this. I don't specifically care who takes my order, as long as I get my coffee. But, I was on a mission and she was not making my job any easier. I walk back to my alcove, ready to focus my energy on my International Relations midterm, when MM throws me a fastball, "Oh, hey by the way. He only works from 1-9." 

Awesome. It's 8:30, and there are about 30 people in line for hot-caffeinated beverages. This is their "rush", so he is focusing on speedy deliveries without sacrificing customer service. Ergo, he doesn't exactly have time to chat with some random girl about ties. Not willing to give up yet, I head back downstairs intending to ask for some water. Because I can't let this happen:
Him: So, can I help you?
Me: Erm, uhhh, wellllllll no. 
(Stammer) I just wanted to stare at your face.... (and proceed to run away)

So, I get in line and it's down to about 6 people. I'm feeling encouraged, I'm going to pull this off. Full of positive energy, I get to his register and he walks to the latte machine to make an order. Yet again, I'm stuck with the girl. OMG.
I have two options. I can take my water, leave, and talk to him another time or awkwardly stand there. A noble person would except defeat, but not I! Like a champ, I not only awkwardly stand there but also awkwardly stare at Sam. To make it even better, I follow him to the other side of the counter and then attempt to strike up a conversation.
 Me: Hey, so umm...
Him:.......(the sound of him being important and busily making coffee; he has no time for frivolity)
Me: Aren't you Sam?
Him: (Said at the exact same time as me, mind you) Frozen caramel frappecuino? (Motions toward me) Frozen caramel frappecuino?
 My awkward face. Except, this is a dude. So, imagine a girl making this face, combined with this one:

                                                     What do I do???!

I've decided to stalk him to figure out his work schedule  talk to him tomorrow. Because that was painful. It would probably be about as bad as, say throwing up at the dentist. After he has, hypothetically, put "teeth-crates" filled with foamy bubble gum-flavored fluoride in a patient's mouth. Requiring him to "suction it out" of said patient's mouth. Which I have done.....
Don't judge me. To be fair, I warned the dentist's assistant I hated the foam and that putting both sets of teeth in my mouth at the same time would make me throw up.

1 comment:

  1. Oh. em. effing. gee. I am dying. BEST POST EVER.

    Seriously, I can imagine you doing this.