Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Wastin' Away Again in Margaritaville....

Only not. Five more weeks of school and counting. Good news is I've figured out my summer plans (YAY!) I'm taking calculus MW evening/night (lame, but necessary to graduate), working at JCrew, and I have an internship at a law firm in Atlanta (Which I'm beyond excited about, because I'm planning to go to law school AND the internship's paid. I would have interned a few days for free! So imagine my surprise when I called to ask whether I got the internship and they told me I would be getting paid!)
                                                   Yeahhhhhhhh man.

Now all I have to do is get through these next five weeks. And then I'll be here:
                                                            Or here:

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Laissez les bons temps roulez

                       Happy Mardi Gras everyone!!
Today has been an awesome day; I'm pretty pumped. First, I got a job at JCrew for the summer. (YESS!)
           For instance, I could buy these cute wellies with my store discount.
                    Or any of these adorable dresses! Presh!

Not only do I love JCrew, but it also means I don't have to work in food! Waitressing is a great job to have in college, because it's not and easy to work over breaks. But, four years is more than enough. Second, it's Mardi Gras! Laissez les bon temps roulez! A bunch of us are celebrating downtown, because working the week before spring break? Psssssssssh.

This looks so fun! Wonder why she's so pale? (Not that I can complain, me and Casper are practically related).

Saturday, March 5, 2011

S-A-TUR-DAY Night!

Woo! Party night downtown at the #1 party school in the nation (I said it's great...to be...a Georgia Bulldawg!)
Am I barhopping, enjoying bellinis, and having fun downtown with my sisters?
Well, technically watching Tropic Thunder with froomie MM and working on my resume, but then I couldn't use TaySwift's lovely picture.

After two midterms this week, I decided I needed a chill night. What perfect way to do that than watch people shoot each other?! And who can forget Tom Cruise's sweet dance moves. Forget Risky Business, he's much foxier in this movie.

Speaking of foxy, I met some friggin creepy guys last weekend. Last Saturday, my friend Ashley and I went out to dinner and then decided to go downtown. I hadn't been to this awesome low-key bar and wanted to try it out. So we go inside and it is packed. Everyone and their brother decided to go to the Winery. So much for a chill night.
We make it to the bar and it literally takes 15 minutes to get the bartender's attention. Seriously?!
We finally get our drinks (I had a bellini and Ashley got this awesome peach champagne drink with sour mix...delicious!) and attempted to find a table. We end up standing next to this big group and I see these three guys looking at us. It doesn't seem like a big deal until Ashley goes outside to answer her phone...

Here's the scene: I'm standing there, minding my own business. Doing absolutely nothing. Yet they keep creepily inching toward me. And act like they aren't slowly getting closer to me every time I turn around. As if I don't notice. So, one dude finally comes up and starts talking.

Creeper: Hey, I'm [insert name here]. What's your name?
Me: BWare. My friend's around here somewhere.....(thinking maybe they'll take that as code for leave me alone?)
Creeper: Oh cool. This is "tall guy" and "dark-haired dude" (Might as well have been their names).  He's an Arabic prince (I didn't even care enough to figure out if he was for real...)
BWare: Fun? 
Creeper: Yeah, we're visiting from Tech. Do you go here?
BWare: Yeah.
                   If only I had thought of giving them this face:
                          Thank you, JennaMarbles.

So I felt bad for consistently answering with one word answers, but didn't want to talk to these guys. They were weird. I also didn't want to be the awkward girl standing by herself.  In the end, my not wanting to feel awkward unfortunately won out.
BWare: ....Soooo, what are y'all up to tonight?
Creeper: We're actually going to see our friend play at this bar. It's a Beatles cover band. They're not supposed to go on for awhile, so we're pretty much hanging out.
BWare: Sounds fun.

Finally, Ash comes back and saves me. I figure I'm in the clear, but of course not. They. Keep. Talking.

Creeper: Hey, who's your friend?
BWare: This is Ashley.
Creeper: Hey I'm "creeper".  This guy with the girlfriend is "dark-haired dude" and the guy on the end is "tall guy".

First off, why do I care if you have a girlfriend? I'm not hitting on you. 

Creeper: His real name is Yelvin, but he goes by "tall guy".  He's fluent in Arabic. 
Tall guy: (Something I didn't understand because it was in ARABIC)
Creeper: (Said to "dark-haired dude") What did he say? 
Dark-haired dude: (Looks at us, laughs, looks at "tall guy" and then says this) Oh, I didn't really understand it. He used a weird verb tense (WTF?!?!)

By this point, I'm opening my phone every five seconds. I look at Ash; she's as uncomfortable as I am.
BWare: (Getting ready to leave) Well, have fun at the concert...

Creeper: (At the same time as me) Well hun, we've got to head out. It was nice to meet you!
BWare: Bye.

I don't get it; what is it with guys and pet names?

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

My name is Elmo, you can tickle me anytime.

I'm anxious. And it's not because of these midterms (although I will be exponentially happier when I am done and have a week off from school).  We're having a "my tie" next Thursday. And no, that's not a misspelling of this delicious drink:

For those of you who don't know what a "my tie" is, fear not! I will inform you. Here's how it works:
Step 1: You figure out who you would like to take on the date night (Or, if it's easier you can make a list).
Step 2: You recruit one of your sisters/friends/random acquaintances you met on the street (Hey, it's your life) to ask this guy to go with you, while also commandeering his tie.
Step 2b: Have one of your sisters/friends/acquaintances ask another guy, if option #1 can't go.
Step 3: You go to the location of the date night, looking super cute and wearing his tie.
Step 4: You are united with your date!

                I love bow ties. They are super fratty. :)

It's great, because you automatically have a date AND don't have to deal with asking someone for yourself. Yay! And it's kind of fun to ask guys to go with your friends. Except when they work at Jittery Joes and you have no idea who they are. 

Story time: A few days ago froomie MM asks me to ask her friend (we'll call him Sam) to our "my tie".  I had already asked a guy for another one of my sisters, so I was pumped. I felt like a modern-day Yentl ("Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match...."). I get to his place of employment, completely ready to ask him and get my caffeine fix at the same time, when lo and behold a girl takes my order instead. Normally, I'd be fine with this. I don't specifically care who takes my order, as long as I get my coffee. But, I was on a mission and she was not making my job any easier. I walk back to my alcove, ready to focus my energy on my International Relations midterm, when MM throws me a fastball, "Oh, hey by the way. He only works from 1-9." 

Awesome. It's 8:30, and there are about 30 people in line for hot-caffeinated beverages. This is their "rush", so he is focusing on speedy deliveries without sacrificing customer service. Ergo, he doesn't exactly have time to chat with some random girl about ties. Not willing to give up yet, I head back downstairs intending to ask for some water. Because I can't let this happen:
Him: So, can I help you?
Me: Erm, uhhh, wellllllll no. 
(Stammer) I just wanted to stare at your face.... (and proceed to run away)

So, I get in line and it's down to about 6 people. I'm feeling encouraged, I'm going to pull this off. Full of positive energy, I get to his register and he walks to the latte machine to make an order. Yet again, I'm stuck with the girl. OMG.
I have two options. I can take my water, leave, and talk to him another time or awkwardly stand there. A noble person would except defeat, but not I! Like a champ, I not only awkwardly stand there but also awkwardly stare at Sam. To make it even better, I follow him to the other side of the counter and then attempt to strike up a conversation.
 Me: Hey, so umm...
Him:.......(the sound of him being important and busily making coffee; he has no time for frivolity)
Me: Aren't you Sam?
Him: (Said at the exact same time as me, mind you) Frozen caramel frappecuino? (Motions toward me) Frozen caramel frappecuino?
 My awkward face. Except, this is a dude. So, imagine a girl making this face, combined with this one:

                                                     What do I do???!

I've decided to stalk him to figure out his work schedule  talk to him tomorrow. Because that was painful. It would probably be about as bad as, say throwing up at the dentist. After he has, hypothetically, put "teeth-crates" filled with foamy bubble gum-flavored fluoride in a patient's mouth. Requiring him to "suction it out" of said patient's mouth. Which I have done.....
Don't judge me. To be fair, I warned the dentist's assistant I hated the foam and that putting both sets of teeth in my mouth at the same time would make me throw up.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Toolboxes in Paradise

Ugh, so midterms are this week. And that basically means I won't sleep until Spring Break. (Yay! Who needs sleep anyway? You can sleep when you're dead.) It also means, I am running low on interesting blog topics. Hmm.  As much as I would love to complain about all the work I have to do (while also barely having enough time in the day to accomplish one thing) that doesn't make for very interesting conversation. So, how about toolboxes?! Pretty weird, huh?
They're just so boxy. And large. And surprisingly, a lot are red. Is that a criterion? Google search toolboxes and you will find a page of primarily red toolboxes. I know toolboxes are geared more toward males, but why red? What makes red more of a masculine color than blue?
 The very masculine Uncle Sam (the revered un-official mascot of our proud nation) is always decked out in blue and red and white. Maybe toolboxes should all be modeled after the American flag. Then, we should mass export them. I would support that.

Because we don't speak English, we speak Amurrican.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Yo Ho! A Pirate's Life for Me

I love pirates. My love for pirates all started when I saw Pirates of the Caribbean four times in theaters in the 8th grade.
Johnny Depp is uber sexy. I'm not sure what makes him sexier, his general attractiveness or the pirate attire. Perhaps the guyliner? Funny thing about guyliner: very few not every guy can pull it off. Yet, every emo/artsy/I-don't'give-a-damn-about-my-bad-reputation rock star (Props to Joan Jett) thinks they can.

For instance, take Green Day's lead singer Billie Joe Armstrong. Totally pulling off the guyliner look.
One of the other band members,  Frank Edwin Wright III (aka TrĂ© Cool), not so much.

Maybe I'm just not into the "emo/artsy/I-don't-give-a-damn-about-my-bad-reputation" look like my future roommate MM. (She also says Brendon Urie from Panic! at the Disco pulls it off too, but I'm not convinced.)

You know who can pull it off? Dustin Hoffman in Hook. He pulls off looking like a crazed, pirate lunatic. Yet, wearing guyliner enhances this ensemble and creates a believable character. Random aside: Dustin Hoffman is a fantastic actor. He is a close second in versatility to Mr. Depp.
And this picture is just so lovely. It would be a perfect addition to any home. Specifically over the fireplace.
So, my final thoughts on guyliner are this:
Only pirates should be allowed to wear it, because obviously they are the only characters with the ability to consistently pull it off. 

Kevin Kline in Pirates of Penzance. Pretty snazzy, ehh? (He just looks Canadian to me. Not exactly sure why.....)

And my all-time favorite, because I just love Jason Segel. :)

Sunday, February 27, 2011

The Oscars are coming! The Oscars are coming!

The Oscars are officially here and I'm am jumping up and down in my seat like fat kid hyped up on mountain dew pretty excited. Right now, I'm watching E's pre-Academy Awards show. Reese Witherspoon and Sandra Bullock are always elegant so they obvs look beautiful. But, Christian Bale's hobo-beard needs to go. For reals, he looks like a pedophile.

Or, better! He looks like the Deliverance mountain men who live in log cabins and play banjo music.

                                             (Dooooo doooo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo).

 However, Steve Martin plays banjo. And He makes it look normal and GASP almost cool.  
Why is it that banjos are synonymous with mountain men? Or Deliverance? Banjos are respectable instruments; they sound pretty cool. They're very similar to ancient greek musical instruments (lyres). So, why is it that such a wonderful instrument would be resigned to mountain men and tax evaders? (I can only assume that Thoreau was doing this while stuck in the woods. What else would he have been doing??) Two words brought the demise of this instrument: Country Music.

 This is how I feel every time I listen to country music. I would rather have all my teeth pulled, run head-first into a brick wall, and roll around in a sewer. Well, that's not entirely true. I'd have to be wearing a hazmat suit when I roll around in the sewer. What with anti-biotic resistance bacteria and fungi, have to be safe ya know?
 Basically, country music sounds exactly the same. They use the same 5 chords and every artist sings about the same thing. I lost my job, because my two-timin' strumpet of a wife/girlfriend (who also happens to work at a Honky Tonk bar) cheated on me and I was too drunk to remember to go to work.
I even got into an argument with my friend BMilll about this. If country music didn't have to include banjos, it might be a lot better. It might have a chance if singers sang about things other than getting drunk and tractors, too.

Wow, this post was supposed to be about the Oscars. Anyway, these are some of my predictions:
Supporting Actress: Melissa Leo (just announced)
Supporting Actor: Christian Bale
Best Actress: Natalie Portman
Best Actor: Colin Firth
Best Picture: King's Speech

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Sunscreen and Spirits and Spring Break...Oh my!

So, SB2K11 is coming up soon. For some schools, it's already here/happening/happened. It also means bikini bottoms. And I don't mean SpongeBob Squarepants' choice of inhabitance.

Random aside: How hilarious is it that Mr. Krabbs lives in Bikini Bottom. Oh irony....

So, I love spring break don't get me wrong. Spring Break is awesome. I went to the quintessential SB spot last year  (PCB) with a bunch of friends and had a LOT of fun. But, every time spring break comes along I always panic.
It would be awesome if I could just wish myself thinner to my pre-Christmas break size, but it never happens. So I spend 3 months crash dieting/going to the gym 8x a day (Slight exaggeration, but you get the idea). It's probably good that I'm going home and working this spring break (and possibly making a weekend trip to Hilton Head...), but I can't shake the whole crash-diet/lose weight for sb2k11 fever. And shopping for bikini bottoms does nothing to help this.
I bet TrimSpa is making a lot of money right now, though. And without Anna Nicole.